Finding FREEEDOM through F.R.E.E.D.O.M., an issue of the heart...

This post is honest and open….bear with me here…..

I want freedom. Everyone wants freedom from something. Freedom from debt, past mistakes, sin etc. However, freedom comes at a great price and it is a price I am willing to pay. Freedom costs a giving up of something. A battle of the will, emotions, and a battle that is daily. To gain freedom from my issue will take a dying of self, a surrendering to Christ. It will take time to gain this freedom; thankfully the journey has already begun….

For most of my teenage and adult life I have struggled with my weight. It has been a roller coaster ride. Quite honestly struggling with my weight has been the hardest issue I have ever had to deal with on a daily basis. It has brought so many unwanted things in my life. Things I would rather not deal with. It is more than a struggle with weight. It is also a struggle with emotions and the spiritual walk. The unwanted issues it brought into my life are insecurities, no confidence, a low self esteem, a poor self image, lack of self control etc. Struggling with my weight has kept me from some of my hearts deepest and greatest desires. Struggling with my weight has cuased relationship barriers in my life and walls surrounding my heart. A means to keep people from getting close to me. An excuse to do what I want to do.. This struggle began many years ago….

This journey began when I was thirteen or fourteen. I had just ended a serious relationship with someone I once cared about. Instead of taking charge of my emotions I let them get the best of me and I turned to the wrong source of comfort. I was a Christian if you even want to call it that. I didn’t realize how imperative it was to rely on God and to let Him feel the empty void that I felt. I didn’t care about myself. I didn’t care about what I was putting in my mouth or what is was doing to me physically.

I have tried everything from Weight Watchers, calorie counting, eating healthy, exercising you name it… What I realize now is that this is an issue that is much deeper then on a physical level. It is an issue that is at the core of the heart. It is an issue of obedience. It is an issue of submitting to God. It is an issue of relying on my own strength rather than on God’s. It is an issue of my will over God’s. It is an issue of pride. It is an issue of dying to my flesh. It is an issue of not surrendering to Christ. It is an issue of not treating this temple (which is Christ’s, we were bought for a price and we are not our own) right. And at the very core of the issue is rebellion and sin. How I wish I could go back and change. How I wish that I am not where I am today. It has taken me nearly eleven years to realize this. However, the past is behind me and all I can do today is focus one day at a time. I can’t focus on the future because only God knows what my future holds.

What do I have to do in order to gain freedom? I have to first and foremost submit to God and resist the Devil. Facing the temptation to eat is just as much as a temptation kill someone. Secondly, I have to surrender my will. I have to desire what God wants for me over what I want. I have to die to my flesh. I have to literally nail myself to the cross so that my flesh does not rule me. I have to stay in the Word (which teaches me truth that will set me free). I have to be obedient to what God says. I have to keep my eyes ahead and not in the past.

My church has recently started a weight loss group called F.R.E.E.D.O.M. It is based on Biblical principle and Godly advice, healthy eating and exercise. Our first week the group lost about 40 lbs!! Way to go girls!!! What is so amazing is that we have a support group of ladies who are on the same journey. Who are struggling with the same issues. What is great? That most of the ladies are a part of my church family!!!! J I love being able to be a part of a group which I love so much!!!!

Since I have started this journey…which is now going on two weeks…I have started gaining self confidence. I have started feeling the need to fix my hair every day and dress up to go into town. I am relying on God rather than myself. I have been (trying) to die to flesh daily and remembering Philippians 4:13. I have found that I love to work out and really love to eat healthy! I now know that when I rely on His strength I can succeed at weight loss. It may take some time…but like I said…I want freedom from being in bondage to eating…it will cost much…but I will also gain much. I am so thankful that I can turn to God to feel my empty void and He will satisfy it. Just the other day I was reading in the word and I was super hungry…but I had made up my mind to die to my desires and finish reading…that brought such strength to me that day, making myself realize that I can do this!!! I am going to have freedom….Through Christ I can do all things!!!!