On the brink of something new

Have you ever had this feeling that something big and new is about to happen? Well, that is the feeling I am having right now...BUT...I don't know what this change is going to be. Will it be good or bad? Haha. I am not big on change but I am ready for something new and different! I will coninue to pray and seek God, cause whatever it is, good or bad, He'll be there to see me through! Well, that is a short post, just alot on my mind!

Here are the newest pics of Dakota and Alexis! They are getting sooo big and adorable! Dakota will be 7 months old tomorrow and Alexis is 33 months today!

My heart breaks

How does this go??!! Well, let's start out by saying that I have been a nanny for 7 months for a great family. I take the kids to a middle school in Edmond...and that is where this story begins. A tale of that makes my heart want to shatter into a millions places. I am beginning to realize that this issue begins in the early stages of life and I want to stop it from happening. The only problem is, I know what the solution is, I just don't know how to reach them. They do go to school, but I just don't think that I could just walk up to these girls and not get into trouble for someone thinking I am some sort of weirdo, which is the farthest thing from the truth! So, here goes. This past month, I have noticed a girl who stands away from anyone. This takes place early in the morning before school ever starts. What a way to start your day.. She won't go up and talk to anyone. She shyly and awkwardly plays with her hair, tugging at her shirt. This is so very familiar scene that I am observing. It's a mirror image of myself many years ago and at times this little monster appears from time to time...you know what I am talking about yet?? If not, I am sure all of you have struggled with it many a times. Its the big annoyance, heart wrenching, mind over taker called insecurity. Now that you know what I am talking of, have you ever been in this place? To feel so insecure that you won't allow yourself to be near anyone that might talk to you? That they would say something and expect it to slash another big gash into our already sliced heart? This is all to familiar for me. When I see her standing all alone tears start falling from my eyes. I know the pain she is experiencing. The way she feels inside makes her feel miserable, unhappy wondering why she even exists in this world. We all know the solution for her, but does she? Does she even have a clue that there is someone who loves her more than anything? Does she realize that if she would learn the truth that she wouldn't feel this way? Do any of the girls struggling know that there is a better way than this?? This is a burning issue for me...I want them to see the truth, to let them know that they are not alone and that they are special and loved more then they could ever imagine, but how do you reach them??? I just want to give this girl the biggest hug, tell her she is not alone in this struggle, that there is hope. That God is the one who will heal her heart. Again as I am telling this story tears come to my eyes, I have been there and felt the same sting, my heart is hurting so badly for her right now it is unreal. But what can I do?? I feel that I am to pray for her, other than that??? I just trust that Jesus will reach her in some way!!!